Having said that, is it really the end of the world if large Lemmy instances have ads to make up for any shortfall in donations? Otherwise, how are large instances expected to be sustainable long term, especially if they’re going to ever reach the kinds of traffic Reddit sees?
So don’t run large instances. Either selfhost at home if you’re on symmetric fiber or use cheap ARM cloud instances.
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Its fine if “most” people don’t want to selfhost. In a small instance only 0.1% of the people using it need to do it.