Started a new job, when I arrived on the first day they didn’t know where to put me and didn’t know what I was going to do. So they sat me in the boss’s office and told me to read a book. After a few hours, the boss showed up and immediately started on “imagine starting a new job and not wearing a plain shirt!” (My business shirt was white with widely spaced faint grey stripes). Sacked immediately. They still paid me for two weeks though.

Incurable cancer, chemo brain means I can’t concentrate and often have trouble thinking straight. Involuntarily “retired” on medical insurance. Not working wasn’t what I expected it to be.

56/M/Australia

Your dad went grey at 9!?

Quantum Leap. The original series with Scott Bakula was much better.

“Be excellent to each other”.

Friends, family, and lovers dying before you.

I stopped to look around and never left.

Being completely unaware of anyone else:

• Standing in doorways, using your phone or having a conversation
• Talking loudly when inappropriate, when I’m in pain at the doctors, I don’t want to hear about your roses
• leaving your shopping trolley blocking the aisle sideways in the supermarket while looking for your stuff
• driving down the middle of the road so everyone else has to pull over, when there’s plenty of room for two cars to pass
• stopping in the middle of the road without indicating, while: looking for your destination, or having a conversation, or deciding what day it is
• riding your delivery bike down the footpath at high speed weaving between pedestrians

As Jean-Paul Sartre said, “Hell is other people”.

The New Zealand War is the biggest political scandal of our history in history with a new generation that will never forget it because it is the only one in the history books.

• Excellent
• Bogus

We saw Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure when it first came out, not knowing anything about it, and it’s become a staple for us ever since.

• Inconceivable
• As you wish
• Life is Pain
• He’s only mostly dead

So many more great lines from The Princess Bride. The movie was introduced to me by some friends, and (it got complicated). I always remember the first time I saw it sitting in the living room smoking weed.

The bible. Inconsistent, unethical, and immoral.

I’m working on a Manny Calavera mask.

Short History Of

1. Men are incompetent and stupid
2. Same ad over and over for stuff I don’t want or need
3. The offensive ads that assume I’m a boomer with too much money:

• I can’t afford to buy a single house, why would I want landlord’s insurance on my holiday house?
• I’m barely keeping my head above water, why do you think I want to refinance my house?

Telling me what I can save without telling me what it costs

ad: “Save $3000 this month on European cruises!”

me: How can they make money selling cruises for $15 each?

ad: “Popular soft drink $1.90 off per litre this week!”

me: That’s the normal price!

Due to poor life choices, I’ve had six.

I had a really good dentist and none of them were a big deal in terms of pain or discomfort. Just boring sitting there for long periods waiting for it to be done. I closed my eyes and meditated into a half doze. Good luck!

Define “better”. Surely it’s a matter of personal opinion?

You Are a Tourist - Death Cab for Cutie

Neil Diamond, of all people, has a version, which you might or might not like.