I’d feel like you could get better advice if you give more details, and maybe ask about LGBT friendly cities in some of the LGBT communities.
ABQ isn’t bad, but it’s not homeless friendly, and it gets cold in the winter. You could live outside of Albuquerque in the east mountains for relatively cheap but would need a vehicle to get into town.
But seriously, there’s more going on there that I think you might be able to use advice on.
It really seems like you might have bigger issues than deciding between Albuquerque and Columbus. I can tell you about ABQ, but maybe you can give some more details about what’s pushing you to move, and why you’d look at those two cities in particular.
Planned Parenthood. The Trevor Project. My local LGBT resource center. ACLU. EFF. I’m also looking for trans supporting groups that can supply emotional and material support and community.
The “paradox” here is that by being tolerant of intolerance, we are actually decreasing the overall level of tolerance when normally we’d expect tolerant behaviors to increase tolerance.
Compare it to the “death wave.” When someone stops in a multi lane intersection to allow someone to cross in debt of them, the pedestrian/vehicle can’t see around the stopped vehicle and this can result in them being hit by a motorist in the adjacent lane. It feels like you’re being safe and considerate, but you’re actually putting the other person in more danger than if you had simply followed the right of way. It happens often enough that a name has been coined for the phenomenon.
Tolerating hate increases hate, not tolerance. Tolerating hate in the extreme decreases tolerance not only relative to the hate, but because once hate takes over they eliminate tolerance (see Florida).
Then I’d just make it $100 and call it a day. $100 seems like a very generous amount in gift card form (like you’re less likely to forget it in your sock drawer), while $100 cash doesn’t seem like as big of a deal.
I’m not generally big on giving gift cards, but if they’re asking for one it’s going to be appreciated.
Okay, this post is only an hour old but it already has a ton of replies. I reallly hope you see this, though. I’m going to GBF you for just a couple of minutes.
First of all - girl, seriously? 40 year olds go out all the time for drinks. You should try going out with friends so you can keep an eye on each other, but every bar go to is filled with people our age. I’m ten years older than you, and I in no way feel like an old man in a bar. If you have a next day recovery concern, just limit yourself, or go on the weekends. Just make sure you’re taking an Uber and if you’re doing solo yolo let a friend know where you’re going and let them track your phone or something.
Second, apps can be toxic but they can also be gamed. You’re looking for a silver fox type, maybe with a bit of a dad bod is my guess. Put out for some headshots or other pro photos. There’s even a lot of amateur photographers who you might be able to find on insta who would be happy to do a quick session for a modest amount of money. Do yourself a favor and get a serious makeover and some new outfits first, because it will make you feel like your best self.
Third, it’s okay to just be looking to get dicked down even while looking for something serious. Don’t hang everything on finding your next life partner if you really are just craving physical affection.
There are tons of 40+ men who are single due to similar circumstances to yours. They’re at bars, and they go to concerts at local venues. They’re probably not going to be at the clubs the 20-something’s go to, but they have their own territories.
It really sounds like you have to see yourself as your best self, and up your game with that confidence.