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Keep trying with home assistant. It’s the best in my opinion.
Tailscale would allow you access to everything inside your network without having it publicly accessible. I highly recommend that since you are new to security.
Damn Small Linux was a favorite a long time ago.
PopOS! Is it for me these days.
I’ve started to dip my toes into NixOS. I really love their design concepts.
I used to be a heavy GnuCash user, but when we got serious about getting a mobile app, I ended up trying YNAB.
It isn’t self hosted or open source, but we’ve more than made back the subscription price with money saved using their system.
It has a learning curve for sure, but the mobile app and transaction import has been worth it.
I have an instance of Gitea that I use to mirror stuff.