Here’s few of my goofy items over the years.

Lantern of in-sight: causes any object or entity you’re aware of and can keep a direct line of sight on to glow as bright as a non magical lantern. The lantern itself does not produce light. Had a player use it to highlight someone hiding in a crowd when the party failed to see them.

Jewel of Becoming: when activated the player became a gemstone for 1d6 hours. The rogue ended up exploiting this heavily by becoming a jewel and either having another player sell her or just being in the path of someone. Once she turned back she’d rob them blind and sneak out back to the party.

Immovable ladder: it was a rope ladder but the rungs in the middle and either end were immovable rods. This one the artificer cobbled together in game and I allowed for it. They spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to use it for more than a reliable way down from a second floor but never did manage anything wild. They couldn’t even really use it to go up because someone would still and go climb up there to set the top rod.

Maxwell’s Morning Tonic: a bitter, dark, and slightly oily potion that when drank, counts as a short rest or turns a short rest into a long rest. It also gives you a -1d6 to hit and sleight of hand. It’s just a strong coffee.

Welly tin.

They’re those cute tins filled with themed bandaids you can get at Walmart. Normally they’re brightly colored and targeted to small kids. Not only are they pretty good fabric bandaids but the tin is really reliable as a homemade med pack for camping. Small, light, brightly colored, and stupidly durable. Had mine in my bag for about 5 years now and it hadn’t even dented.

You can get butane and arc lighter inserts for zippo shells. I’ve had the arc lighter for going on 3 years, I’ve only had to charge it 5 times, it’s gone through the wash twice now and it’s still working great.

Bought my best friend the butane one the same time. She’s a heavy smoker, not only is it her conversion starter but apparently it’s been cheaper than buying bics.

Here you go.

An arch lighter version of a zippo. It fits in traditional zippo cases so I have a collection of shells that I change out to fit the mood. The current one is matte black with a cthulhu theme in brass but normally I use the mercury glass with bones and flowers. My wife calls it my zappo.

Also the severed finger of an elf.

Honestly, I’ve long since given up on finding a Cardigan for less than $100 outside the women’s section. Fortunately I’ve never been above wearing women’s clothing.

This. Everywhere I go it’s like 1:5 men’s to women’s and the only fashion styles you can pick from are “my church let’s us dress casual”, “9-5 at the law office”, or “I cosplay as a meth dealer”

Hazards of Love by the Decemberists would make such an amazing stage musical. The story is all in there, a lost child raised by the woods, a forbidden romance, a betrayal by the scorned mother with the ultimate death of the lovers together! Tie in with the rake B story for the intermissions and you have everything you need to work with.

It would be a majestic mix of Rock ballad and Shakespearian tragedy.

You’ll want to add weight and grip. I’m not certain what the wheels are like, but you may be able to either replace them or modify them for better traction. I’d see if you CSB find all terrain bike tires and cut them down.

Weight wise, you’ll need to play around and see what you can add without hindering movement.

Counter suggestion, kill off the grass in the area and replace it with a creeping ground-cover. You won’t have to mow, it adds ornamental value, and it’s better for local wildlife.

I’m convinced that exact move is on purpose! No reasonable person can look at that intersection and think, “this can’t possibly be done better in any way.”

I can relate to this.

The roads in my city are as far from flat as you can get. The potholes aren’t bad but the roads are build to slope into the gutters and the gutters occasionally cut through the streets like reverse speed bumps, the train tracks are like crossing wagon ruts.

So if I see you rolling around in some luxury sports car with a 3in clearance, I’m going to assume you’re too fucking stupid to deserve that much money.

I heard a lot of complaints about the twins in borderlands 3.They’re shallow, they’re obnoxious, they remind you of wanna be tiktok influencers, on and on.

That’s not a bug, that’s a feature. Guys, Handsome Jack was bottled lightning. He was a masterpiece of good writing, good design, well placed improv, and just plain dumb luck. They were never going to pull that off again. You’d need to open a real vault to find that level of treasure.

The Calypso’s are exactly what they say on the tin. They’re all those obnoxious, unfunny things I mentioned because sometimes villains aren’t well thought out, complex characters. I fucking love shooting Troy in his smug hot topic weeb face. I don’t need to consider the complexity of a man driven to an extreme or the show erosion of one’s moral character in pursuit of power, they were two shitty kids on an ego trip with no regard for the damage they did. It is plain, and simple, and easy.

Are there problems with the rest if the story? Absolutely. Are there some awful plot-holes? Oh my fuck, yes. But are the Calypsos the thing that ruined the game? Fuck no, they’re fine and perfectly shootable as a bad-guy needs to be.

Damn, I didn’t know America was contagious…

All but one has passed and the one remaining is kind if rocky now that my parents have poisoned the relationship with talk of hope manipulative and toxic my partner is for enforcing such awful things like limited screen time and bathing regularly to my child.

Pan pizza, marinara sauce, half mozzarella, half Provolone.

Pepperoni, jalapeno, mushrooms, olives, chives, and pineapple.

Pepperoni on top so it crisps on the bake, garlic and basil on the crust.

Now you must propagate dark and horrible legends about it!

I have a billiard break cue, it’s hollow steel pipe with brass and galvanized fittings to screw it together. Based off the material, original colors, and general look it’s probably from the early 70’s.

Without fail, if a drunk person finds out it’s hollow they get super weird about it. They hand it back like it’s a writhing appendage, avoid using it when offered, even had a guy drop it like it was gonna bite him. Either way, I play better with it than I ever did before, and I gave it a gorgeous glossy crimson repaint.

That’s exactly my taste! I’ll take it if you ever wanna her rid of it!

In the aughts, pirates bay felt like the library of Congress. If a single commenter on a B tier forum saw it in a guy’s basement in the mid 80’s there was a sure bet at least 3 people were seeding it and one of them had great upload. If it wasn’t there, you had a dozen different sites with their own dedicated fans posting everything you could ever want.

Now it’s maybe 6 sites, they all have the exact same listings, and the only things with seeds came out in the last year of two. It’s like seeing your local library after a fire.