• 0 Posts
  • 106 Comments
Joined 3 months ago
cake
Cake day: April 1st, 2024

help-circle













  • Shit. I guess bevause my mom never loved me. Same reason ive got a thing for older women, I bet. Theres this whole social thing where everyone says ‘your mother loves you’ and it was just… Harrowing as a kid? At least kids with dead moms got to just say that and people believed them? There was room for something else there, but I didn’t have the luxury of being allowed to heal, every moment around that awful fucking woman was a twist of the knife, a reminder that I wasnt worthy of love, wasnt supposed to be loved. And that kind of fucked me up as I developed. There are empty places, and theres nothing I can do about them; there’s nothing I can do to heal those wounds, because they can’t be healed. They’re just kind of always a part of me now, you know? And I’m angry about it

    But I don’t see what that has to do with this.

    How about you? Why’re you mad?


  • Two categories, broadly: any professional software, with deep features and professional quality.

    I know theres audacity, but that’s really not an acceptable saw.

    I know theres a few cad apps, but no professional I’ve ever met finds the good enough.

    I know gimp, and I use it, but no artist I know does; they all pirate Photoshop. Literally every one.

    I like having audacity to record audio. I like having gimp to fuck with shit. I like having various cad apps to bang out organizational tools to print. These things do generally fit my use case. But I still have to help people pirate everything else and god the DRM is do fucking annoying.

    Abd here’s the more esoteric ask:

    Not so much programs as features; Why aren’t we really going all in on shit we can do that they can’t? Features capitalists would never add, never support? Instead I find open source software always playing catch-up, and theres no reason it has to.


  • Why do I think I might be mad?

    A quixotic commitment to logic and reason, proven impossible to complete a century ago, even after Edward Bernays and ivy lee thrust a dagger unto the heart of truth? All realities that interacting with you really drives home. Its mildly frustrating, but it does also make me question, in little ways, if all of this is mad, and even if we can do better, we shouldn’t, and I should just be trying to maximize harm at all times.

    I also think you’re a total asshole completely scared to have basic compassion or humanity, but, like, That’s more disappointing than frustrating, and not wholly unexpected.




  • So institutions are magic and unaccountable inhuman systems are a good thing?

    I remember a story about a guy, world war one vet, that war fucked him up, became a rabid Nazi literally in it for the dehumanization and (the ‘I jack off to being turned into paste by a beautiful perfect machine’ itallian futurist) type philosophy, Until he saw what the Bolshevik reactionaries did with Russia.

    He was immediately and unironicly like ‘hey, wow, this is so much worse. I’m defecting to these guys now.’ and then did it.

    You remind me of that. This is praise of your novelty, condemnation of your everything else. Big ‘thanks, I hate it!’ Vibes